URGENT PRAYERS NEEDED!!

Hi Everyone,

As you may remember, my husband, David, was placed on furlough, with benefits, Feb.25th and was assured it would only be for approximately 2-3 wks. His company was in the process of securing several new contracts and it appeared to be only a matter of time before he would be starting a new project. However, things have not gone so well.

Last Friday, all employees who did not already have an active site to manage were laid off indefinitely AND all benefits were discontinued. Their amazing benefit package included, but was definitely not limited to, an incredible FAMILY healthcare plan provided at absolutely no charge, and a brand new retirement plan they just established and signed employees up for in late January

Today is the end of the 4th week we have gone without David earning any income. The unemployment ‘benefit’ is barely ¼ of his usual bring home pay. He has been scouring Alabama and Georgia for work, but has been unsuccessful so far. We really are trying hard not to worry. However, after his lengthy furlough in November and December, my continued medical expenses, Morgan's college tuition and many other unexpected associated costs, a HUGE jump in our auto insurance premiums after Bekah's accident last Fall, and now this – we have pretty much exhausted ALL our savings. Therefore, it is very hard to fight our human flesh and NOT be a little afraid sometimes.

But we quickly remember that we serve a mighty Lord and we know none of this has taken Him by surprise!! We know scripture tells us that He has a wonderful, amazing plan for us and His timing is impeccable! How awesome is that?? If HE is for us, who can be against us? YES!

Thanks SO much for stopping by and taking the time to read. I know I haven’t been around much lately, but I am trying my best to get better and be here more often. I hope you will continue to keep my family and me in your prayers as we wait upon the Lord.

Thank you so much! Have a fantastic weekend.

{{{HUGS}}}

BEAUTY FROM PAIN

'Weeping may remain for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.'
~ Psalm 30:5

Beauty From Pain
By ~ SuperChic[k]

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I've made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how You've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am, at the end of me
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

This is a song that Morgan and Bekah have loved for several years. I always thought it was a pretty 'sounding' song, but I'd never truly listened to its lyrics until today. All I can really say right now is, 'WOW'. It is like someone reached down into the depths of my heart and pulled the words right out.

It truly gives words to how I feel about the status of my life right now, but it also explains that no matter how frustrated, sad, depressed and, sometimes, downright angry I get about the whole thing, I am positive God is going to make something beautiful out of it all. That gives me hope and helps me to keep on keeping on.

I am SO glad you stopped by today! I hope you and your family are enjoying a beautiful fall weekend. See you soon!

{{HUGS}}

For more inspiring and uplifting music,

please visit Amy at SIGNS, MIRACLES AND WONDERS!

PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM

“I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of Heaven and Earth. He will not let your foot slip, He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you, the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm, He will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”
~ Psalm 121

Many of you are probably familiar with this Casting Crowns hit single, "Praise You in This Storm." In this excerpt from his book, 'Lifestories', Mark Hall tells the story behind the song. It is about a little girl dying of cancer who never gave up her trust in Jesus and her mother who literally stood on the promises of God through it all. It is such an incredible story and song and really echos the words of my heart. It really seems to fit the very circumstances my family and I have been through over the last decade...and even still today. It is so awesome how God can use talented singers and songwriters to touch so many different lives with the very same song.

HE GIVES and TAKES AWAY
by Mark Hall of Casting Crowns

Laurie Edwards watched her little girl gasping for air and wanted to breathe for her. She wanted the Maker of breaths to swoop in and fill her child's lungs and dissolve every tumor with His mere glance. She wanted another miracle.

It was the early morning of Saturday, October 30, 2004. Ten-year-old Erin Browning lay in a hospice bed in her home, in such pain and shortness of breath that, in fear and exasperation, she could manage only one request of her mother.

"Just read the Scriptures!" she said.

So Laurie began reading the Scriptures. She included Erin's favorite passage, Proverbs 3:5-6. From 1 a.m. until 5 a.m., loved ones took turns reading aloud the Word of God over a child in the last, cruelest stages of cancer's grip. Little Erin had battled for more than three years.

And now the end was near. Laurie tried to refuse to believe it, but her trust in the Lord remained steadfast. She was frightened and faithful all at once. She prayed for an eleventh-hour miracle. And she kept reading the Scriptures, as Erin had asked.

At one point, Laurie placed her Bible on the floor and stood on it, literally standing on the Word of God as she read over her child. Finally, after the long night of reading Scripture followed by another long night of hopeful prayer, Laurie consented for a hospice nurse to administer an IV with medicine that essentially placed Erin in a painless coma on Sunday afternoon. There would be no more gasping for breath.

*****

I met Erin Browning on Valentine's Day, 2004 at Westover Church in Greensboro, North Carolina. Erin loved Casting Crowns, and, after six years of dance lessons, had choreographed a dance to our song "Here I Go Again." When Laurie initially contacted us, we made arrangements to meet their family before that concert. Three months later, Erin danced for the last time as her mother and two sisters joined her for a performance of "Here I Go Again" at The Carolina Theatre.

I was gripped by the imagery of Laurie's standing on her Bible and quoting Scripture over her sick little girl. After all the e-mail updates and prayers, that moment melted my heart and sparked the lyrics to this song.

I kept up with Erin's condition through Laurie's e-mails detailing the family's wrenching ordeal. Every e-mail described a change in Erin's condition. One e-mail would offer hope: "There is a new treatment, so please be praying." So we'd pray, and then the next e-mail would report, "It's not working."

Sometimes Laurie had questions: "What's going on? I feel like I'm all alone in this." But her love of Jesus remained fervent even though she questioned what was going on and didn't really understand the reasons. It was raw, rare faith, and it was inspiring.

On June 21, 2004, I e-mailed Laurie to tell her that I was writing a song for Erin entitled "Praise You in This Storm." Upon the news, Erin screamed so loud that it hurt Laurie's ears. Erin never got to hear the song, but Laurie heard it for the first time when her mother bought the CD on the day it was released and took it to the school where Laurie works. The two women sat in the car, listened to the song, and "cried and cried and cried."

"Erin would be so happy to know that other people were being touched by something written for her, because she was never about herself. She was about other people," Laurie said. "Other kids at school would say 'I want to be like Erin.' And she would say, 'No, you don't. You want to be like Jesus.'"

I was impressed with Laurie's faith, but Laurie will tell you how much she was impressed with Erin's faith. Erin was six years old when she prayed to receive Christ. She was diagnosed with cancer when she was seven, and by the time she was eight she was visiting area churches to give her testimony.

Four months after Erin was first diagnosed, a second bone scan revealed that the cancer was gone. Doctors called the results remarkable. Laurie and Erin called it a miracle. Emboldened by the Lord's clear hand in her life, she began regularly sharing her faith and giving her testimony.

"She had a desire to reach people to let them know there is no hope or joy without God. And even though she had reason in her life not to be happy, she was joyful because she had Jesus in her heart," Laurie said. "She wasn't afraid. She let the Lord speak through her, and when she would get up and speak it was like I wasn't listening to my own daughter. He would put words in her mouth, and it was just awesome."

But the cancer eventually returned, and this time, it didn't go away. The tumors grew so large that they displaced organs and created a visible bulge in Erin's chest. They pressed down on her spleen, pushed her heart to the right, and deviated her trachea, straining her breathing.

Near the end, Laurie's e-mail updates were desperate. Her last one before Erin's death was a simple request in all caps: "PLEASE PRAY FOR ERIN!" It was the night in which Laurie stood on her Bible during the four hours of Scripture reading. The weekend crept into Saturday, when at 1:15 a.m. the hospice nurse told Laurie that Erin's vital signs and statistics suggested she had only approximately 20 minutes to live.

Fifty-one hours later, [she] finally gave up her fight. Erin Browning went home at 4:24 a.m. on November 1, 2004.

Laurie still doesn't fully understand what happened next. She remembers only a tremendous peace and describes it as being under the shower of the Holy Spirit. She held Erin's body for 90 minutes while her daughter played in heaven.

"It was not like how I expected her last minutes to be. I thought I'd be hysterical, but I wasn't," Laurie said. "But she was where she always wanted to be. She told me when she was six years old that she couldn't wait to get to heaven. She said she had felt an emptiness in her heart, but when she asked Jesus into her heart she never felt it again because Jesus had filled her and would never leave her. For the 10 years she was on this earth, God used her in a remarkable, powerful way.

"I've learned that He can use an average, ordinary family to do extraordinary things and that He continues to use us despite ourselves," Laurie said. "How He has done that is beyond me. But He has a plan and purpose. A lot of times I may not like His plan, but I accept it. I'm just honored that He chose to use Erin and this family as He has."

Through it all, I was captured not just by Laurie's faith but also by her worship. She had the worship of Job:

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
Job 1:21

I have a son and two daughters, and I was amazed at how Laurie faced a parent's greatest fear. It doesn't mean that she wasn't angry. It doesn't mean that she wasn't sad or doubtful, but at the base of it she was leaning on God even if she was angry, sad, or doubtful. I was reminded once again that just because we cannot see God's purpose does not mean He doesn't have one. I was reminded that God is faithful, regardless of the circumstances. I was reminded that God is sovereign, and we're not.

Finally, I was reminded that we cannot control how long our lifesongs last. We only can control how loud we sing them. Little Erin lived out loud for Jesus.

*****

Were I to designate a "Godline" for this song—a lyric or message that seems to come directly from God—I would have to write every lyric. The whole song is a Godline. When it comes to writing, I wasn't there for this one. I can't think of anything for which I should ever take credit. There are so many lines that gripped me as this came together. The first one was:

For You are who You are, no matter where I am.

And the first line that came to me concerning Erin's battle with cancer was the first verse:

I was sure by now, God, You would have reached down,
And wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say "Amen," and it's still raining.

It took me a while to be able to sing that verse aloud. I was too emotional over Erin and Laurie. The bridge also is special to me. In remembering Laurie's update about reading Scripture verses over Erin, I added Psalm 121:1-2 as the bridge to try to capture the cry of a desperate mother:

I lift my eyes unto the hills; where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

I remember when the second verse came to me:

I remember when … I stumbled in the wind;
You heard my cry to You, and raised me up again.
My strength is almost gone; how can I carry on,
If I can't find You?

I'm saying, "God, I remember when this happened before and You pulled me out of it. But right now, my strength is almost gone and I don't know how I'm going to make it through this when I feel so alone and can't seem to find You."

What is so remarkable about this song is how God already has used it. His reach extends beyond just those struggling with long-term or terminal illness. Somehow, God's providence made this song also apply to Hurricane Katrina.

The second verse especially fits the circumstances perfectly. Obviously, that wasn't me. That was the Lord. Now read the channel:

As the thunder rolls, I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you."
And as Your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives,
And takes away.

Now consider that this album was released the day after Katrina devastated New Orleans and much of the Gulf Coast. Amazing, huh?

While I wrote the song from my exposure to one family's battle with cancer, I realized it would apply to many people who are dealing with tragedy and heartbreak. We've all been there, so I figured it would touch a nerve. But how could I have known it would have anything to do with a national disaster?

Unbelievable. You think you know what God is up to, and then He takes a song you wrote four or five months before and unveils an entirely new purpose for it.

Behold, He indeed makes all things new. That's what He did for this song. And that's what He did for little Erin.

CLICK HERE FOR LYRICS

I hope you all are enjoying a wonderful weekend. Thanks for stopping by.

{{HUGS}}

For more inspiring and uplifting music,

please visit Amy at SIGNS, MIRACLES AND WONDERS!

Heaven Just Got A Little Brighter

Jewell Mae O'Neal Nation
January 1, 1915 - June 29, 2010

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
~ Matthew 5:4

Yesterday morning, at 10:55, Granny Jewell went on to Heaven to be with the Lord and with Papa Andrew. Although I am rejoicing in the fact that she is now with them and is no longer suffering, I am profoundly sad that she is gone. I knew it was going to be hard but I did not anticipate exactly how hard.

Thanks so much for the many, many prayers and wonderful words of encouragement I have received over the last week or so. They are appreciated more than you can possibly know. I know it is going to take some time for our entire family to grieve and then begin to heal. Please continue to pray for us as we begin that process.

Blessings,

Teresa

SUNDAY CITAR

I'm so glad you stopped by for Sunday Citar! This special meme was created by Tabitha at FRESH MOMMY so we could all link up and share our favorite quotes that encourage and inspire us....and sometimes even make us laugh or cry! It is really fun! Please take a moment to check out her blog to see more wonderful quotes and photos that she and many others are sharing today. Feel free to join us!

"I feel like a defective model, like I came off the assembly line flat-out (screwed-up) and my parents should have taken me back for repairs before the warranty ran out."
~ Elizabeth Wurtzel

I saw this quote the other day and just had to laugh. This is EXACTLY how I feel most days! I feel like I have been sick or something in my life has been royally messed up since the day I was born. It seems like the word 'normal' does not apply to me or my life...it never has. *sigh*

But then I remember, I am a child of the Most High King!! He created me in His image. So, I wasn't made to be 'normal'! I am special! There is no one else on this earth exactly like me. He has given me my own special gifts and talents. In Psalm 139, it says that I was 'fearfully and wonderfully' made and that all of my days were ordained for me and written in His book before even one of them came to be. How awesome is that to think about? The Lord has also promised to work ALL THINGS out for good, because I love Him. (Romans 8:28) I know that the Lord has a plan for my crazy, often confusing and mixed up, life - even if I can not understand it right now. (Jeremiah 29:11) I most definitely trust what He says because the Lord does not lie. One day, all of the things I've gone through will work together for good and will bring glory to the Lord. Remembering this each day is very reassuring and helps me to keep on keeping on.

I hope you all are having a wonderfully blessed weekend! See you soon!

{{HUGS}}

Teresa

SUNDAY CITAR

"I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach."

~ Maya Angelou ~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

All I can say after that is WOW! What she said really resonated with me. I have done A LOT of things in my life that I am not proud of. I still to this day struggle with forgiving myself for those things. I know that I have disappointed and hurt a lot of people over the years who are very close to me and that makes it hard for me to forgive and, of course, I'll never forget.

Having a lot of 'free time', lots of VERY QUIET time on my hands lends itself to thinking and thinking and thinking. When you have that much time to think, it is not always good. I know the Lord has forgiven me and I have placed these things at His feet a million and one times but I am continuously going back to pick them up again.

Why do we do that? We crawl up in the Lord's lap and give Him all of our hurts, our pains, our fears, our disappointments and all of our many, many sins. We ask Him to forgive us and to help us. And He does! Then, not too much later, we try to quietly sneak up and take some or all of it back. But we are totally fooling ourselves if we think the Lord doesn't know what we are doing!

The thing is, the Lord wants us to leave all our burdens with Him. He wants to ease our load. In Matthew, He tells us, ' Come to me, ALL YOU who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' How awesome is that?

Is there someone you need to forgive? Are you like me and need to forgive yourself? Do you need to rest?? Try crawling up in Jesus' lap today. I promise, He will comfort you and give you that much needed rest.

Blessings,

Teresa

WORD-FILLED WEDNESDAY

Welcome to Word-Filled Wednesday! As always, the purpose of WFW is to share God's Word (no famous quotes or other literature, only the beautiful Word of our Heavenly Father) through scripture and pictures. The host for this week is Christy at Critty Joy. Please take a few minutes to visit her and be encouraged!

source

'Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.'

~ 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 ~

The commands in this verse I strive very much to follow. However, I must admit, living with a chronic illness like Dysautonomia often makes it extremely difficult to feel joyful. :0( It makes a lot of things difficult. It makes it difficult to remember to pray as much as I should - or would like to. It makes it difficult to see the blessings the Lord has given to me because of the pain and sickness I am continually dealing with. This makes it more difficult to properly express my thankfulness.

I want to do all these things, I really do! But lately I just haven't felt up to it, not even a little bit! Like a stubborn little toddler, my body has absolutely refused to cooperate. The pain is relentless except for a short window of time after I take my medication, but that only lasts for a little while. Like literal fog on a dark night, the 'brain fog' I experience makes me unable to concentrate and my memory extremely poor. Nausea is my constant companion and frequent vomiting wreaks havoc on my already aching body. Sleep, like time, has become more and more elusive. I want, I NEED, to sleep so badly, but I can't. I very rarely sleep more than an hour or so at a time. That in and of itself has really worn me down, mentally and physically. When you are exhausted everything is made worse.

Needless to say, it is very hard to feel joyful with so many un-joyful things happening. However, I keep reminding myself that THIS TOO SHALL PASS!! I know that one day I WILL BE healed - if not on this earth, then when I get to my Heavenly home! I will be given a brand new body. One that is completely healthy and completely pain-free. One that can walk and run and dance and play!

Until that wonderful day, I will CHOOSE to be joyful, I will CHOOSE to keep praying and I will CHOOSE to give thanks to my amazing God for all that He is doing in my life because I know that He has plans for me! He has plans to make me prosper and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future! Amen!

source

Thanks again for stopping by. I hope you all have a truly wonderful week.

Blessings,

Teresa

WORD-FILLED WEDNESDAY

Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining.

~ 1 Peter 4:8-9 ~

This verse really spoke to me today. It made me think about my family, especially my sister.

I have an AMAZING family! Every single member is someone I know I can depend on no matter what. However, like most families, we definitely have our moments when we don't see eye-to-eye. That is especially true when it comes to my sister and me. You might remember that I told you a little about that here on her birthday.

Since then, we've had a couple more disagreements that did not end very well. It makes me extremely sad when that happens. I never, ever intend to cause a fuss or hurt her feelings, but somehow that is what always seems to happen. :0(

Thankfully, though, LOVE does cover a multitude of sins, and in our family, we somehow always manage to come out on the other side of any disagreement with our relationships still intact. As for my sister and me, we definitely aren't as close as I would like for us to be, but I hope and pray that somehow, someway we can work together to change that. We're not getting any younger and we just never know when the day will come that one of us won't be here any longer.

Thanks for joining me for Word-Filled Wednesday! As always, the purpose of WFW is to share God's Word (no famous quotes or other literature, only the beautiful Word of our Heavenly Father) through scripture and pictures.

WFW is being hosted this week by Lori at All You Have To Give. Please take some time to visit her blog for even more encouragement or if you want to link up and join us. It is really awesome!

Have a great week!

Blessings,


Teresa

THANKFUL THURSDAY

This is an unusual 'Thankful Thursday' but I need to do it a little different this week. As most of you know, I was just released from the hospital earlier this week after being confined 8 days due to a very serious bacterial infection. I am still extremely weak and not able to be up and on the computer hardly at all. However, I wanted to let each of you know how much I appreciate the love and support shown to my family and me as we've endured yet another trial over the last couple of weeks. I don't know what we would do without you all. The Lord has surely blessed us with an amazing family and truly incredible friends....and I count each one of my blogging buddies as my friend!

As soon as I am able, I will be posting again and I will let you know in more detail about what went on during my hospital stay. Until then, I humbly ask that you keep me in your prayers as I work to regain my strength and heal from this illness. Thank you all so very much.

BTW, please join Alyssa at TRUTH 4 THE JOURNEY to see what others are thankful for today.

HAPPY 15 th BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY GIRL

I still can not believe it has been 15 years since I gave birth to my youngest daughter, Bek.  It just does not seem possible.  It seems like just yesterday that D and I were bringing her home in her little pink, lacy dress and bonnet.  She was a tiny little thing – all 6 lbs and 11 ounces of her. 

Then, she grew…..

and grew….

and grew…

and now she’s a young lady…

 

Tomorrow, Bek enters her sophomore year of high school.  My how time has flown!  She is amazingly smart, witty and talented.  She loves almost anything to do with music.  She is heavily involved in all the bands at school.  She plays the alto sax in their marching band and plays tenor sax in the symphonic and jazz band.  Although the sax is her primary instrument, she can play many others (7, I think!)  She is in many gifted and AP classes and is hopefully headed toward a great collegiate career.  Above all, she loves the Lord and tries hard to put Him first in all that she does.  We couldn’t be more proud of her! 

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY, BEK!  WE LOVE YOU!

(You may click on any of the photos on my blog to enlarge them.)