20 YEARS TO LIFE!!

On a very hot and humid evening, 20 years ago this past Wednesday (September 22nd), I married the man of my dreams, the GENTLEman I believe with all my heart the Lord created just for ME!

Our beautiful wedding took place at my 'home church', in Riverdale, Georgia. I literally grew up in that amazing church. I spent SO much time in that great big, majestic place as I grew from an infant into an adult. I crawled around in the nursery there as a wee little baby. Our grandparents always took my siblings and me to Sunday School and 'big church' every weekend. I attended VBS every summer as a child and later helped teach the little ones as a teen. I even received my very first 'real' kiss there and discovered my first 'love' there when I was about 12 or 13. I asked Jesus to come live inside my heart when I was 13 and was then baptized there shortly after. Once I was in junior high, I became part of a phenomenal youth group, filled with passionate, dedicated leaders and young people. I truly enjoyed spending time there with some of the most awesome people in this world, each of whom left a mark on my life and heart, in their own special way....and I will never forget any of them. Some of my life-long BFFs were made there and, although we don't get to see or talk to each other nearly as much as we would like, they are still very much part of my life.

Those days a RFBC were truly some of THE most special days in my life and I wouldn't trade the memories we all made together there for anything in this world! Therefore, when it came time to pick a location for our wedding, there was really no other choice! I asked David what he thought and, even though it was 30 miles from where we lived (and still do), he agreed.

The ceremony was fairly simple but was just absolutely perfect! I’ll never forget the look on my man's handsome face as I walked down the aisle (which suddenly seemed as though it was at least a mile long!), holding on to my Daddy for dear life and shaking like a leaf! When David and I finally took each others hands, he was smiling and I'm pretty sure I saw a few tears of joy trickle down his face, just like they were mine. What I didn't know was that he had a very special surprise waiting for me as we exchanged our vows.

You see, David and I had gone to pick out our wedding bands a couple months before the wedding. I already had my engagement ring, a beautiful three-quarter carat marquise diamond solitaire. When we were shopping, I saw the most GORGEOUS ring guard that has a ton of beautiful diamonds in it. (Remember, it was 1990 and those were all the rage back then). It was so beautiful and I just had to try it on with my solitaire. Of course, then I didn't want to take it back off! :o) However, it was absolutely too expensive for our meager budget because it was 18 karat gold and had a half carat of diamonds in it! So, we settled on a nice gold band for my soon-to-be husband and a beautiful gold ring guard for me, one that wrapped around the solitaire, not dissimilar to the one the I had fallen in love with, but without all the bling!

On our wedding day, someone came to the bridal dressing room, the way we had planned, to get my engagement ring, so it could be put together with the wedding band for the service. I thought absolutely nothing of it. Then, during the ceremony when it came time to exchange rings, David took from his dad, his best man, my ring and began to place it on my finger. OH. MY. GOODNESS!! It was not the smaller, plain gold band that I was expecting, but the BIG, GORGEOUS ring guard with all those gorgeous, sparkly diamonds in it. I was so shocked and so thrilled, I could hardly finish the ceremony because I was definitely in tears by then! :o) It takes a lot to surprise me, but he truly pulled it off, BIG TIME!

I love reminiscing about our wedding day. It’s hard to believe that our marriage has endured for just less than half my lifetime. Since that amazing day 20 years ago, it has been a very long, often winding, bumpy road. We've both gotten lost a time or two and been too stubborn to ask for directions until we absolutely had to. I would definitely say we've seen far more 'worse', 'poorer' and 'sickness' than 'better', 'richer' and 'health'. We have suffered unbelievable trials, pain and heartache that most people will never, ever experience, even if they were to live to be one hundred, but we have also experienced lots of love, happiness and immeasurable joy that only the Lord can give.

We've discussed all of this on numerous occasions and we always come to the same conclusion; we wouldn't trade these past 20 years for anything in the world because the Lord is the ONLY One who knows the plan for our lives. He is the only One who can see the whole picture, not us. We know He uses everything, the good and the bad, in our lives to mold us into the people He wants us to be and to bring glory to His Kingdom. We would never want to interfere with that!

As I've told you all countless times, I am so blessed and thankful to call this man my husband. He takes care of me no matter what. These last few years of my illness have been very hard, but he takes in all in stride. He treats me like a Queen and loves me despite how sick I am and how much this sickness has taken away from us. He constantly reassures me that he loves me and that he isn't going anywhere. That gives me such a sense of peace.

If you made it this far, thanks so much for taking the time to read this. I truly appreciate it. I'm going to attach a song by Alan Jackson that I have always loved since the very first day I heard it. It truly speaks to me and I think it really describes the life David and I have made and lived together.

Click on video to enlarge for better viewing!

REMEMBER WHEN
By: Alan Jackson

Remember when I was young and so were you
and time stood still and love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
We made love and then you cried
Remember when

Remember when we vowed the vows
and walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when

Remember when old ones died and new were born
And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other's hearts
Remember when

Remember when the sound of little feet
was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give it up
Remember when

Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookn' back it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are,
Where we've been
Said we'd do it all again
Remember when
Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when

Happy 20th Anniversary, Baby!
I love you with all my heart and soul....and I always will.

Ways Your Church Can Minister To The Chronically Ill

REST MINISTRIES, the largest Christian organization that specifically serves the chronically ill, recently did a survey and asked people to 'List some of the programs or resources a church could offer to make it more inviting and comfortable.' They have provided a small sampling of the 800+ responses, all of which could be done in 20 minutes or less.

1. Send out encouraging cards or emails that say, 'You're in my thoughts and prayers!'

2. Make sure the handicapped stalls in the restroom are functioning and clean. Add some decorations that make them look more normal and cheerful like regular bathrooms.

3. Add padded chairs or cushions to make church easier to sit through. Room for wheelchairs is essential and be sure to include extra space for family members.

4. Have an open mind about a support group for the chronically ill like HopeKeepers. It would make me feel very special that there was an understanding of people's needs that are not always visible.

5. Add more disabled parking, even if they are temporary spots.

6. An awareness on the part of the ushers that those arriving late may have difficulty walking or getting out of cars.

7. Have a group of people who call the chronically ill members and check on them when they can't make it to church. (It really makes people feel special to know they are missed!)

8. One lady shared, 'When suppers are given, I may need help getting my meal - or at least understanding I cannot wait in a long line.'

9. Be cautious when hugging. It may literally cause physical pain to someone and even may cause a fall.

10. Video tape the service and put it on a DVD, don't just do a live web cast. Many responders said, 'My computer doesn't work that well so I'm not able to watch web casts.'
11. Check out the church doors and see if someone with an illness can open them with ease. If not, install a mechanical button to push them open.

12. Many responders said some form of the following: 'Stop telling me that if I truly believed and had faith, I'd be healed by now. Please don't go on and on about how good I look even though I know for a fact that I look terrible and miserable that day.'

13. Offer ways to serve within the church that can be performed regularly, but not on a set schedule so that I can still contribute, but there's enough flexibility that I can do the job when I feel well enough to do so.

14. Provide sermon notes in case I can't make it to the worship service and want to listen/take notes later.

15. Acknowledge National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week each year. Rest Ministries has a book list of the top 100 Christian books for the chronically ill. Having some of those books displayed in our Church Bookstore, Church Library and even in our Care Counseling Center would be great!

16. Just mention chronic illness occasionally! Talk about it in sermons as one of the challenges many people face just like unemployment or divorce.

17. Let me know about any Christian volunteers from church who would be willing to clean my house or do other odd jobs for a small fee. Some have offered to clean my house, but I am just not yet able to accept charity. But neither can I afford to pay a regular house cleaning service.

18. Have the church help with some of the small costs of providing encouraging books and resources for the church library. The chronically ill often cannot afford all that they'd like to read and will check them out.

19. Remember all of the caregivers in the church--not just caregivers of parents, but spouses and ill children as well.
20. Provide copies for free of the sermon on CD.

~~~~~~~

With just a few small changes, your church can become a more inviting and encouraging place for those with any form of chronic illness - invisible or otherwise. Most of these changes are very inexpensive but could most likely even be FREE if a few special people came together and gave just a little bit of their free time to serve and share their gifts and talents. They could make a HUGE difference in someone's life!
I really hope this will inspire at least one person to try and make a difference at their church OR any other facility that isn't disability-friendly; and believe me, there are plenty of them out there!
I really never thought much about this until I was the one faced with these obstacles. It is extremely humbling and down right humiliating when you find yourself in a facility that does not have a handicapped accessible bathroom stall AND you can't get your wheelchair anywhere close to any of the others. Plus, there is the fact that the only person with you that can help is your husband. Unfortunately, there are about 5 gazillion women and girls running in and out of the place, so he definitely can't come in and help.
That is exactly what happened to me when my husband and I were at a high school stadium during one of our daughters' marching band competitions in the Fall of 2008. Needless to say, my whole perspective about disability and ADA requirements has changed since that night. You just never totally understand something until you are put into the situation.
Thanks so much for stopping by today AND for taking the time to read this. I hope you have a wonderfully blessed day!
{{GENTLE HUGS}}
Teresa

Author, Lisa Copen, lives with rheumatoid arthritis and is the founder of Rest Ministries, an amazing Christian organization dedicated to serving those who are chronically ill. Lisa is also the author of 'Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend' and founder of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. To find more articles similar to this one and overall support while living with a chronic illness and/or pain, please visit Rest Ministries.

NEW KID ON THE BLOG

Well, it is official. I have finally taken the plunge into the real world of blogging. It has taken me forever to get it all figured out, and I still have a LONG, LONG way to go, but I think I'm headed in the right direction. There have been some pretty major set backs lately, but I'm really pleased to say that I'm at least getting it started.

As some of you know, I did a few posts on what some might would consider a 'blog' on Facebook but I just didn't seem to have much of a following there because 1) it is hard to find readers there because it is difficult to navigate and 2) the sane folks who still haven't gotten lured in by 'the housewife's equivalent to crack', AKA Facebook, are not able to read my posts there without signing up for an account. Plus, I have not been feeling very well the last couple of months, so I haven't been keeping it updated as much as I would have liked.

Therefore, I thought I would start fresh with a new blog here where anyone can read it if they want. I plan to use it as a tool to continue to educate my friends and family - and even strangers who happen to stop by - about my disease and how it affects my life and the lives of my family. I will also use it to keep everyone up-to-date on what all is going on in our lives. Most of the time, there won't be a tremendous amount to write about but at least you will know what we're up to. I also believe it will be a great outlet for me to share some of my feelings about the struggles I face as I deal almost daily with pain and fear, anger and guilt, disappointment and frustration. However, I will also share all the good stuff, too, like the complete love and faith I have in my awesome husband who always treats me like a queen, the tremendous gratefulness I have for my awesome family who is ALWAYS here to support me on the good days and the bad, my thankfulness for our loving church family and friends who have always stood by our side through thick and thin and, most of all, my joy which I continue to find in my Lord and Savior each and every day. Without the awesome support group I have in my family, friends and my walk with my Savior, I honestly don't know where I would be today. No matter what, I am one blessed lady!

See ya soon!

Blessings,
Teresa