SOMETIMES HE CALMS THE STORM

SOMETIMES HE CALMS THE STORM
By~ Scott Krippayne

All who sail the sea of faith
Find out before too long
How quickly blue skies can grow dark
And gentle winds grow strong

Suddenly fear is like white water
Pounding on the soul
Still we sail on knowing
That our Lord is in control

Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered peace be still
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will

Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm
And other times He calms His child

He has a reason for each trial
That we pass through in life
And though we're shaken
We cannot be pulled apart from Christ

No matter how the driving rain beats down
On those who hold to faith
A heart of trust will always
Be a quiet peaceful place

This week has again been VERY long and difficult. I had to make another trip to the ER Wednesday night due to excruciating back and abdominal pain, accompanied by nausea, vomiting and fever. This time the visit was very pleasant, as far as hospital visits are concerned, but all they could really determine was that whatever was going on was not 'life-threatening'. All the testing they did came back normal. This was a bit of a relief because the last 5 or 6 times I've been, it has been life-threatening and I've ended up staying a week to 10 days due to sepsis. It was also a bit frustrating because we still don't know what is going on.

At this point, I have appointments to see a couple different specialists for further evaluation and testing in hopes they can identify the problem. For now, I feel a tad bit better, thanks to a couple more medications the ER doc gave me to help with the pain. *sigh* I am so very tired of just throwing meds at things to cover them up. It would be nice to know WHAT is going on, WHY I am hurting, and QUIT masking it all! I feel like they are doing their best, but it is still frustrating!

Thanks so much for stopping by and for listening. I love this song. I KNOW I am in the midst of a great big storm, but I can see that the Lord has chosen to hold on tight to me and let 'the wind and the waves go wild'. He is also trying to calm me, I just have to let go and let Him.

For more inspiring and uplifting music, please visit
Amy at SIGNS, MIRACLES AND WONDERS!

ANOTHER URGENT PRAYER REQUEST ~ My Mom ~

Source

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
~ Isaiah 43:2 ~

Hi Dear Friends ~

I would like to ask for your prayers for my mom again. She was just rushed by ambulance to the hospital. She has a very high fever and is having severe abdominal pain that started earlier today. As some of you may remember, she had a very similar episode back in February that was initially thought to be Pancreatitis, but she was eventually told they believed it to be Diverticulitis. However, they never actually pinpointed what was going on. She seemed to recover nicely and hasn't had any problems since.

My mom suffers from a whole host of medical issues that are quite serious. The two most pressing issues at this time are Type II Diabetes and a severe heart condition. Her Diabetes is not currently under control, even though she and her doctor have been working aggressively to get it there. Her heart condition is NOT from heart disease but from a very abnormal heart rhythm, Atrial Fibrillation, that has led to her having chronic Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) and a very enlarged heart that no longer functions very well on its own. Therefore, a few years ago, she had to have a Pacemaker/Defibrillator implanted in her chest. The Pacemaker is to ensure that her heart pumps at a steady rhythm at all times to ensure that enough blood is pumped to the rest of her body. The Defibrillator is there in the event that her heart goes into an abnormal, life-threatening rhythm and does not correct itself quickly. If this should happen, the Defibrillator would then deliver a jolt of electricity to hopefully help the heart return to a normal rhythm. Praise the Lord, that has never happened and I pray it never does.

I would really appreciate your prayers for my mom. She is always taking care of others, no matter how sick she is or how rotten she may feel. I really hope this is nothing major. Please help her feel our prayers tonight.

Thanks so much and have a blessed Sunday.

{{HUGS}}

Teresa

UPDATE ON MY MOM

My mom is being a real trouper, as always! She has been in significant pain off and on, which they are treating with Morphine, and she has not been allowed to eat or drink anything except a few ice chips since she was admitted last night. However, all things considered, she is doing remarkably well. I truly appreciate everyone's prayers and all of the sweet, encouraging comments you have left letting me know you are thinking about us. It really means so much to me and I humbly ask that you continue to pray for her and I will try to update you again soon.

{{HUGS}}

Teresa

VERY URGENT PRAYER REQUEST~ FOR MY MOM ~

I would like to ask everyone to please pray for my mom, Joann. She began experiencing upper abdominal pain along with extreme nausea this morning. It all became quite severe early this evening so my dad called me around 6:00 p.m. EST to ask my opinion about taking her to the ER. Since my mom already has several significant medical problems, most related to her heart, I felt that it was imperative that she be evaluated ASAP.

My dad called back just a short time ago and said that Mama is being admitted due to mild pancreatitis - inflammation of the pancreas. They said that, thankfully, she got to the ER in the early stages and that she should do well with proper treatment. I would really appreciate it if you would please pray with me that she does well with treatment and that she is well very, very soon. I really need/want my mom here with me for many more years to come!

Thanks so much!!

Blessings,

Teresa

ANOTHER DYSAUTONOMIA FLAIR AND SEPSISUpdate #4 - WE'RE HOME!!

Hello everyone. I'm going to try and make this short and sweet because it has been a very LONG and ARDUOUS day! We wanted you all to know that Teresa was FINALLY released to come home around 4:00 this afternoon. She is doing fairly well, all things considered. She is extremely weak and exhausted from the nasty bacterial bug she has, not to mention how difficult it is to get any real rest while in the hospital!

Teresa really hopes to be back posting soon and to be able to sharing more about this long ordeal with you. Until then, if you are one of her many prayer warriors, she would like to humbly ask that you specifically pray for her pain to be relieved. This is her third port placement but this has by far been the most painful one. It was placed in her left upper chest, near her 'collar bone' and it is really difficult for her to use that arm. She had a very significant injury to that area from an automobile accident back in 1999, so please pray that the surgery did not reaggravate that injury. Hopefully, it is just due to some of the manipulation they had to do of that area during surgery.

Other than that, things are looking good for now. As always, our whole family truly appreciates your countless phone calls, visits, cards, meals and so many other things you have been doing to help encourage us and to make our lives a little bit easier to bear right now. May the Lord bless you 10-fold for all you have done and are continuing to do.

Thanks so much for all your support,

D

P.S. As for the 'Pay It Forward Giveaway', the two winners will be chosen at random by our youngest daughter, Bek, on Saturday afternoon, January 30th. The two winners will be notified via email, plus Teresa will do a post letting those winners know. Good luck!

ENDURING SEPSIS with Dysautonomia Part 2 of 2

(NOTE: To fully understand this post, you'll need to read 'ENDURING SEPSIS with Dysautonomia - Part 1 of 2' . You can find it HERE.)

I don't remember much of the next few days, just every few hours when the meds would start to wear off I would wake and feel really, really bad. It was very unpleasant. It took a little while of working with the different doctors to get the right cocktail of meds, the proper dosages and exact times to be administered but they finally got it all figured out. But I'm telling you, if you don't have someone with you at the hospital 24/7, you can really get into big trouble. I can't tell you how many times my husband and my mom had to go to bat for me to get things straightened out and how many times I hit the nurse call button and no one ever came to assist me! It is pretty scary stuff! I hope and pray that I'm never in the position where I'm there all alone with no one to advocate for me.

It was finally determined that I had a staph infection and the Internal Medicine Specialist (IMS) assigned to me by the hospital was insisting my port would have to be removed. However, as you know, we have already been down this road several times before and we knew that staph did not always equal removing port. The IMS doc was not listening to my family or me AT ALL as we attempted to explain my ongoing illness OR my previous experience with this same type of infection, so we finally insisted on seeing the surgeon who implanted my port before making any rash decisions. And I am SO very thankful we did!

After speaking with my surgeon, we determined together that we would hold off on making a decision about the port for a few days. He said there was really no big hurry, plus he wanted an Infectious Disease Specialist to come in as a consult to see if they could determine exactly what kind of staph it was and what we needed to do to treat it.

Thankfully, after the Infectious Disease doc took the time to look at my history, my labs and the actual slides of the bacteria, she determined that antibiotics should be enough to get rid of the bacteria completely without having to remove the port! She said that we would have to change the particular IV antibiotic I was currently on and that I would have to stay on it for an additional 14-21 days. However, she said I would be able to go home and finish it. Hallelujah! I could have reached up and kissed that woman, I was so happy! I just had absolutely no energy to do so. *sigh*

After a 9 day hospital stay, I have been home almost a week. I am still extremely weak and still feel really yucky. I am receiving the IV antibiotics twice a day and it takes about 90 minutes for each dose. I have to have blood drawn every couple of days to make sure I'm getting enough but not too much. As long as everything goes as planned, I should be finished in about a week. I just hope and pray that ALL of the infection is gone at that time.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words of encouragement and your faithful prayers. They all mean so much to my family and me! We humbly ask that you continue to keep us in your prayers through the coming days. We surely need them.

Have a great day!

ENDURING SEPSIS with Dysautonomia Part 1 of 2

It had only been six weeks since I was last hospitalized with a very serious bacterial infection, so I was not quite prepared when I suddenly came down with those, oh, so familiar body aches and a rapidly spiking fever again 2 weeks ago. It is so amazing and quite terrifying just how fast it all comes on! It is very hard to explain how dreadful that feeling is when it all starts but I have come to know 'the feeling' very well, unfortunately. I seem to be relatively {normal} one minute and spiraling downhill very quickly the next. It happens so fast that I barely have time to let someone know and then quickly lay down, if I'm not already. Then the extreme violent shaking begins, followed by horrible nausea, vomiting and gut wrenching pain. And it lasts. And it lasts. My goodness, does it last. The pain is like nothing I've ever experienced. Childbirth was nothing compared to this!

Thankfully, this time it happened in the early evening when Bek was already home with me. Plus, D was almost home for the day. As soon as I could get settled down just a bit, we loaded up and headed to the ER. Have I mentioned just how bad I hate that place?

When we arrived, they called us back to triage. By that time, I was bawling my eyeballs out and, at times, literally screaming from the excruciating pain! In the middle of all that, the nurse was trying to get me to answer all kinds of questions. Now, after working in the medical profession for many, many years, I totally understand she was just doing her job. However, when you are in pain - you know, the kind of pain that is at least a 20 on the pain scale of 1-10 - you just can't think straight enough to answer all those questions they ask. The questions they have already asked (and usually already have the answers to in their computer) the last 15 times you were in the hospital - THIS YEAR! My chart is flagged for SEPSIS for goodness sakes!

After a quick triage, we sat in the waiting room for what seemed like an eternity to me but was actually just a few short minutes. I don't remember much about the next little while. Apparently, my blood pressure dropped to 58/34 and I lost consciousness. This was followed by a brief 'freaking out' period where all the ER personnel ran around in circles telling everyone else to find the crash cart. Of course, this is quite common for me, especially when I am SEPTIC and sitting UP in a wheelchair. However, it is NOT common for most everyone else, so it tends to send the whole ER into a bit of a frenzy, even as D stands there calmly telling them I am fine, just get give me a few minutes of laying down with my feet raised to let the blood flow back to my brain! It works every time!

When I woke, I was in a bed with a team of doctors and nurses surrounding me, poking and prodding me from every direction. It took me a few minutes to figure out where in the world I was and what was going on - again, nothing uncommon in my world these days. I was already hooked up to all the various monitors that were all beeping and buzzing because of something and it wasn't long before they had drawn all the necessary blood samples, hung IV fluids to start bringing my pressure back up to an acceptable level and had IV antibiotics flowing through my body to start attacking whatever kind of bug was after me this time. Of course, when I woke, I immediately started the awful act of dry heaving. I hadn't had anything to eat since lunch so there was nothing there to actually vomit but my body was trying its best to produce something. And it tried and tried and tried. Bless the good doctor's heart, he quickly wrote orders for meds to help with the pain and the vomiting and soon I was off to sleep for a while.

to be continued........

UPDATE ON TERESA

Teresa is finally home after a 9 day stay in the hospital. She will continue to receive IV antibiotics for at least 14 more days in hopes of completely ridding her body of the staph infection AND, hopefully, saving her port. After a thorough consultation with Infectious Disease Specialists, it was determined that the type of staph she has could most likely be eliminated without removing the port. They will be keeping a very close watch on this over the next two weeks.

She is resting now and hopes to be back online soon. We very truly appreciate your prayers and ask that you keep 'em coming. We are not out of the woods quite yet!

Home-away-from-Home

Teresa's husband here. Just updating that my dear bride has been in the hospital again, pretty much since her last post on Wednesday. That evening, when I arrived home, she was in a HUGE amount of pain, very nauseated, and had a fever of 102. So, back to our apparent Home-away-from-Home we trod.

It has been a crazy end of the week, with various levels of frustration and disappointments in assessment, care, and prognoses. I'm sure Teresa will give more info on that later. The unfortunate bottom line is that her surgeon wants to remove her port-a-cath (her only IV access) and give everything time to sort of "reset." This is somewhat disconcerting to us because she has almost nothing as far as peripheral veins in case she needs IV fluids or medication. But...God has brought us this far, and since He has it ALL in His hands anyway, we take solace knowing that He will see us on a little farther.

We would surely appreciate you joining us in prayer: for patience to deal with a system that is still behind the curve with this illness; for guidance in how to be constructively pro-active in her care; and for there to be no problems while she is without her port. Thanks to you all.

THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm sure glad it's 'Thankful Thursday' because I desperately needed to stop and take some time to think about the things I'm thankful for in my life right now. I have been going through a really rough patch lately and decided I would throw myself a pity party!

Nope, I didn't send out any invitations so you didn't miss anything. There have been no festive decorations or beautifully wrapped gifts. I haven't even been able to keep down much of the food I've had during this great big blubbering bash. That part really stinks, too! No, it has just been me, here all by myself, feeling sorry for poor, poor pitiful me.

Yes, I understand that things could be far worse. I'm aware there are people whose circumstances are much, much rougher than mine. I know that I have so many things to be thankful for. I really do. However, the fact remains that I have been having an extremely hard time the last few weeks - physically, spiritually and emotionally. Actually, it has really been since I became so very sick this last time. It seems as though each time that I develop yet ANOTHER infection, I'm a little worse than I was the time before. I have to stay in the hospital a little while longer than I did the last. It just starts to wear on you after a while. I'm just so tired of being sick.

Anyway, I AM very thankful for so many things. I DO have to remember that. I have to remember that my Lord continues to bless me every day and that His grace is ALWAYS sufficient.

Right now I am truly thankful for:

1) Jesus Christ. I must cling to Him each new day. He IS my Redeemer.

2) My husband and my 2 youngest daughters. They have given up almost every facet of their lives in order to help care for me. I don't know where I would be right now without them.

3) My extended family. Each member is amazing and I am incredibly blessed by each and every one of them.

4) My continued relationship with my oldest daughter. She called me again last night and it blessed my soul to hear her voice. I love all my girls so much.

5) My life. I have been through some rough waters over the last few weeks but I am still alive. I am living. I just want to feel like I'm living again.

I would really appreciate it if each of you would keep my family and me in your prayers. We really need it right now. I hope to get over my slump and get back to writing more soon. Thank each of you who continue to come to this little blog of mine. Thank you for your love and support as you read and comment. It means more than you can possibly know. {{HUGS}}

Please join Alyssa at TRUTH 4 THE JOURNEY to see what she and others are thankful for today.

THANKFUL THURSDAY

This is an unusual 'Thankful Thursday' but I need to do it a little different this week. As most of you know, I was just released from the hospital earlier this week after being confined 8 days due to a very serious bacterial infection. I am still extremely weak and not able to be up and on the computer hardly at all. However, I wanted to let each of you know how much I appreciate the love and support shown to my family and me as we've endured yet another trial over the last couple of weeks. I don't know what we would do without you all. The Lord has surely blessed us with an amazing family and truly incredible friends....and I count each one of my blogging buddies as my friend!

As soon as I am able, I will be posting again and I will let you know in more detail about what went on during my hospital stay. Until then, I humbly ask that you keep me in your prayers as I work to regain my strength and heal from this illness. Thank you all so very much.

BTW, please join Alyssa at TRUTH 4 THE JOURNEY to see what others are thankful for today.

IMPORTANT UPDATE

Hello to all! This is Teresa's 'Guest-blogger' (and husband), D. You might have noticed that she's been, well - invisible - during Invisible Illness Awareness Week. Teresa was admitted to the hospital once again this past Monday, September, 14th, after developing symptoms that had us thinking she might be septic again; and, unfortunately, we were correct.

In the interest of time...and my total lack of experience at this sort of thing...I will save all the details for a real blog-post later. Mostly, I just wanted to keep everyone informed and ask for your prayers. It is possible that she will be going home early in the week (hopefully, tomorrow). If so, SHE will be the one to bring everyone up to date soon. However, don't be too disappointed if you see me updating you as she recovers from this past week.

We truly would appreciate it if you joined us in praying that she really does go home tomorrow, that she has the most speedy recovery possible and that the doctors find the reason behind the repeated visits for this sort of thing.

Thanks to you all for your support, thoughts and prayers!!

MY MOST RECENT HOSPITAL STAY June 30th - July 6th, 2009

(I apologize upfront for the length of this post. Although I'd be very honored if everyone were able to take a few minutes to read it, I totally understand that you all are very busy! As I've said before, I mainly want to use this to keep my family and friends up-to-date on what all is going on in my life and to provide education for them as needed about all the various things that go on. However, the main point behind this post was more about reaching out to others who have, or may have, this disease and are looking for answers. My prayer is that the Lord will lead someone here who has been searching for answers about this disease. I pray they will not only find refuge and solace here among others like them, but that they will find it in the arms of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. If I can help just one person learn something new about the illness, know a little more about how to better manage some of these horrible symptoms and, most of all, just help them to know they are never, ever alone...then I have accomplished my goal!)

So here we go! As I was telling you in my last post, after getting my new port placed on May 28th, I seemed to be doing relatively well – all things considered. Then on Tuesday, June 30th, I got up around 7:30 and my husband, D, helped me downstairs to my recliner where I spend most of the day, on my ‘fair - good days.’ D is an ex-Paramedic like me, so after being properly trained by home health, he is now the one who does most of my port management. On that particular day, we followed our usual morning routine, plus it was also time to re-access my port after not accessing it for a couple of days. The port has to be de-accessed and then re-accessed weekly in order to help avoid infection.

Once it was accessed, D got a bag of IV fluids going before he left for work. He was already running a bit late that morning and needed to be at a meeting soon so he didn’t linger long afterwards. Approximately 15 minutes after he was out the door, I started having the same horrible feeling that I’d had when my port had been infected – that one that comes on so very rapidly and without warning! I became extremely cold and then started having chills in the matter of a couple of minutes, if that long. I immediately called D and had him turn around and head back home and then I had my daughter, B, help me back into bed. By the time I got there, I was having those full force, extremely violent chills. I knew something serious was wrong again. D was home in a flash, he got in touch with my doc and we headed for the ER.

Now, I will admit that I am not much of a fan of our local hospital’s ER. (I will write more about all of that in an upcoming post.) However, this time I have to say it all went more smoothly than usual. They knew I was coming ahead of time and that I was potentially very ill. I was triaged as soon as I came through the door and they took me straight back to a room. Before I could even get up on the bed, there were several people in the room doing a hundred different things at once, or so it seemed.

Because they were concerned that my port was infected, they could not use it. That meant they had to start another IV in a peripheral site. Praise God, one of our former colleagues in EMS was working that day and she was able to get it on the very first attempt! Absolutely amazing! They were then able to give me some pretty good meds through my IV so that I was feeling a good bit better soon.

They did a TON of labs which quickly came back strongly indicating that I had a PULMONARY EMBOLISM, a blood clot in the lung. I also had a whole host of other abnormal labs. Most importantly, my liver enzymes were above 600 – normal being less than 50 - and my Lactic Acid level was high. This was definitely indicative of another episode of ACUTE SEPSIS, which is what I had back in April when I was so sick then. They really needed to do a Cat Scan (CT) of my lungs, with IV contrast, to rule out a clot. However, the size of the IV catheter that was used was so very tiny, it could not be used for the contrast. (IV contrast has to go in through a very large bore catheter and at a very high rate of speed. This can’t be accomplished with the little ‘baby needle’ they had in me.) They spent at least a couple of hours sticking and sticking me, trying to get that larger IV site. It never happened. Finally, it was decided that a Heparin drip would be initiated in order to bide time so they could wait until the next morning and then do a nuclear medicine lung scan because the tech for that particular study is not there at night, which I believe is completely ludicrous! But no one asked me, obviously.

While I was still in the ER, they also did a CT of my head and Venous Doppler Studies of both my legs to make sure there were no clots there. By the time I made it to my room upstairs, I was totally exhausted and it was already around 1:30 a.m! It was finally determined later on in day 2, after all the initial labs and scans, including the Nuclear Medicine Lung Scan, that I either never had a clot or that the Heparin had worked to dissolve it overnight. At that point, they started focusing more on the source of the infection.

I was ultimately in the hospital for 7 days on IV antibiotics. Praise be to Almighty God, my port did not have to be removed this time! It was ultimately determined that it was not the origin of the infection nor did it appear to be negatively affected by it at all. In fact, while I was in the hospital, they never could quite determine the exact source of the infection. They just knew that after they started the antibiotics, I was responding well. I quit spiking high fevers and I began to improve a little, day by day. It took me a while to actually ‘feel’ better. I was still extremely nauseated and had a some trouble keeping solid foods down and I also had a great deal of upper abdominal/mid-back pain. Additionally, my liver enzymes were still elevated, though they were inching back down and were much better than when I came in.

On about day 4 or 5, they decided to do an ultrasound of my abdomen. (You have to remember, this was over the July 4th weekend, so no one was getting in a big hurry to do anything!) On day 6, at around 10:30 PM, the GI specialist came in for the very first time and woke me up. I was in a daze but I gathered from what he said that my liver enzymes were continuing to come back down to normal and were now around 100 but that my spleen was now enlarged. He had no idea why, so he had scheduled for a Hematologist to come in to do a consult with me for the next day – the day I was expecting to go home. Humph!

Very early the next morning, the hospitalist – the main physician who had been coordinating all my care while I was there – came in to see me. She said that all my labs were looking really good and that she was not too concerned about my enlarged spleen. She said she did not see any reason to keep me as an in-patient in order to follow-up on it. She agreed to discharge me with the understanding that I would follow-up with my primary care physician within a few days. I eagerly agreed and after a couple hours of waiting on all the necessary paperwork, I finally got to come home! It was so good to be back home after being in that place for 7 days! It was an awesome feeling to finally get a real bath and get in my own clothes but it really wore me out quickly.

Not long after I was home, I started experiencing even more pain in my upper abdomen and mid-upper back. I still could not eat much at all without being full and very nauseated almost as soon as I started to eat. After contacting my Primary Care Physician, I was scheduled for a follow-up abdominal U/S and labs. Once the results were in, it was finally determined that in addition to whatever bacterial infection I had that made me septic, I also have MONO! That turns out to be the cause of my enlarged spleen. My spleen being enlarged is probably causing, or at least contributing to, why I have been having so much more nausea and vomiting and why I do not feel like eating much. There just hasn’t been a lot of room for my stomach!

I am so very thankful to have finally gotten a definitive answer to what all is going on and I’m glad it was nothing to be overly concerned about. However, I do have to chill out the next couple of months –as if I have anything else planned anyway – and try to recuperate from all this. Mono can take anywhere from several weeks to many months to recover from. It can be especially difficult for anyone who is especially young, elderly or already immunocompromised.

It has been a couple weeks now since I’ve been home from the hospital and I’m still having a good bit of trouble eating, being extremely nauseated when I do eat and I am constantly fatigued…even more so than I already am chronically. I hope to see some improvements really soon. Please pray that I do!

Until next time.....