tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post2572968574596816935..comments2023-12-30T16:28:52.814-05:00Comments on ♥ Too Many Heartbeats ♥: CAN THOSE WITH AN INVISIBLE ILLNESS PARK IN A BLUE SPOTWITHOUT OTHERS SEEING RED??Teresa @ ♥ Too Many Heartbeats ♥http://www.blogger.com/profile/06926075458122509648noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-56877609582821133412012-11-12T15:48:47.373-05:002012-11-12T15:48:47.373-05:00Teresa,
Thank you for posting this article. I...Teresa,<br /><br /> Thank you for posting this article. I suffer from chronic low back pain and was laid off from my job in Sept. Silent disabilities are very misunderstood. I applaud you for writing this article, I tried to get my placard, but my dr is hesitant because I still can walk. Yet, it is painful some days to walk.Christyhttp://upliftingfamilies.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-22437943315268160772009-12-13T12:33:45.605-05:002009-12-13T12:33:45.605-05:00Teresa,
Part 2 of my comment about "parking ...Teresa,<br /><br /><i>Part 2 of my comment about "parking in a blue spot":</i> <br /><br />I know of people (online & off) who have been harassed over the parking tag issue. One friend's husband uses a wheelchair for a very serious and sometimes fatal neurological disorder that is very visible. She was driving one day for groceries; he was riding. This is a young couple. She got out to walk around & get his wheelchair out of the van's trunk. Immediately, strangers yelled at her for parking there (legally) & called her nasty names! This woman is <b>NOT</b> a shrinking violet. She quickly opened the passenger door and maneuvered her husband into the wheelchair, to allow the nasty strangers to see with their own eyes that, NO, they were not "fakers" stealing the parking spot. She then really let them have it for being so ignorant. Stories like that are why I "keep my head down" and avoid eye contact on the relatively infrequent occasions where I 'cave' and use my tag. Heaven forbid if some stranger made a rude remark to me like these people did to my friend, it would probably get ugly.<br /><br />Now that my daughter is older (and wise for her age), I also fear that she would get involved in the "discussion". She’d probably tell the stranger, in no uncertain terms, that her mother IS very sick & that just because they can't see my illnesses doesn't mean they aren't real. Knowing her, she'd start lecturing them about my various symptoms/limitations. I’d just as soon not enter this zone. It does not escape me, though, that every time I do use that tag & she is present... we run the risk of a parking lot showdown w/the ignorant. My daughter is sweet, kind, and respectful. She is also very smart. If she saw me under attack, she WOULD rise to my defense. Trust me when I tell you, by the time she got done talking w/the person or persons, they would never, ever make such a mistake again. For now, I'm sticking w/the "no eye contact" method. It’s worked so far. If you ever hear a story about a young girl lecturing a nasty stranger regarding parking hang-tags someday, think of my daughter... because I can totally see this happening someday. For now, I'm just trying to keep her innocence as long as possible & try to avoid such a moment. <br /><br />Jeanne<br /><br />P.S. I apologize for the length of this comment. "Blue parking" is a sensitive topic for me. No one <i>wants</i> to be sick enough to qualify for "blue parking". Anyone who looks at a hang-tag as a "perk" has obviously never been sick enough to fully appreciate that this is <i>not</i> for fun. Hang-tags aren't issued out by doctors like candy. They are given when they are appropriate. (The "permission slip" from the doctor for the hang-tag is followed by a trip to the police station to obtain the hang-tag). Having read the preceding comments, I am fully aware that (like anything) they are some "bad apples" out there... people who use others' tags would be one example. The fact that such "bad apples" exist should not mean that those who need these parking tags should have to worry about being harassed with yells, nasty comments, dirty looks, etc.Jeannehttp://chronichealing.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-28944429149684271352009-12-13T12:18:26.866-05:002009-12-13T12:18:26.866-05:00My comment is too long to fit in Blogger with the ...<i>My comment is too long to fit in Blogger with the character count. So this is part 1 of 2.</i> <br /><br />Teresa, <br /><br />Thanks for posting this. I’d seen the original when first posted but it was clearly worth re-printing. I have such a hang-tag. My <i>many</i> chronic illnesses are invisible. When I first got it, I was nervous about what reactions I might get. You see, I had read posts like this (& others) on the topic and wasn't too keen on strangers harassing me! With the nature of so many of my illnesses consisting of a series of flare-ups (which can be quite debilitating!) interspersed w/relatively less painful times (which are still painful... as I have lived with chronic pain for almost 28 years now), I save my hang-tag for when I am really, really desperate. Why? After all, I could use it more often and minimize the pain I experience, right? Why do I save the tag for dire emergencies? The truth of the matter is because I am afraid one of these strangers will have the audacity to approach me someday. If they did this, it would <i>really</i> upset me --- but especially if it happened in front of my daughter. <br /><br />The choice words I would have for strangers nosing into my business/health condition and the tone of voice with which I'm sure I would deliver them (no matter how hard I tried to stay calm) are not something I wish my daughter to witness. Yes, I have read about this being a teachable moment and how I can carry brochures with me on this illness or that to hand the person harassing me. However, quite honestly, I seriously doubt if such an individual would listen to me, read the brochure, or believe me. My way of dealing w/this is to save my tag for absolute dire emergencies... Then, once I hang that tag on the rear-view mirror, I grab my daughter's hand while locking the car door & get to my destination building ASAP... working hard not to make eye contact with anyone. Why? Frankly, because if anyone dared give me "the look" or dared say something inappropriate to me because I made a nanosecond of eye contact, I'm afraid I'd go a bit ballistic on them. <br /><br />I'm afraid I'd skip past the quick attempt to educate them and launch into tales of how we've almost lost our house three times due to medical bills, of how my career went up in smoke because of my illnesses, of the immense medical debt I have racked up, of the nearly 28 years of chronic pain I have lived with, of the 7 surgeries I've had, of how I had cancer removed, etc... <br /><br />In short, I am afraid I would lose my temper and be a bad role model for my child. I’m not a person with a short fuse. However, a stranger daring to imply I'm a faker/liar about a parking tag could really push my buttons. I've had the tag a couple of years now. So far, this method has worked well for me. Not one single person has left a note on my car, yelled at me, called me names, etc. (No doubt nasty looks are shot my way but this is part of my no eye contact method. I do <b>not</b> want to see them).<br /><br />To be continued...<br /><br />JeanneJeannehttp://chronichealing.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-78569660974338488552009-12-12T21:00:18.026-05:002009-12-12T21:00:18.026-05:00I LOVE this post. I have a son with high function...I LOVE this post. I have a son with high functioning autism and there are so many people who to this day doubt the diagnosis because he doesn't "look" disabled.<br /><br />Thanks for bringing this subject to light.Accidental Experthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12076925529372019604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-57053118304225453462009-12-12T18:04:55.478-05:002009-12-12T18:04:55.478-05:00I really do love this eye opening post! It is dis...I really do love this eye opening post! It is disheartening to think that there ARE people who misuse other people's parking privilages.<br /><br />Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!!Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07665201017518290672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-43396630597564302962009-12-12T16:21:17.706-05:002009-12-12T16:21:17.706-05:00Benefit of the doubt.
Sadly there are those who ...Benefit of the doubt. <br /><br />Sadly there are those who abuse the placard which creates confusion to the public.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-47170248039445402842009-12-12T11:19:24.094-05:002009-12-12T11:19:24.094-05:00And then there are people like my dad who wanted *...And then there are people like my dad who wanted *me* to stand in line at the DMV so he could have a placard for the occasional time he has to come into town from Arizona and take my grandmother to a very occassional dr's appointment. No, there's nothing wrong with him. No, I didn't get the placard for him. Grrr.<br />DOn't let the turkeys get you down!<br />Merry Christmas!Angelica Bays, TygrLilies.blogspot.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12070678368794217860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-14404443947888932502009-12-12T00:43:58.869-05:002009-12-12T00:43:58.869-05:00Thank you for this post. I am saddened to admit th...Thank you for this post. I am saddened to admit that I have in the past given sideways glances at people parked in those spots and I do many people that use their mother or aunt or uncle's placards for convenience. Such a shame! That is what discredits so many others. BUT none of us none of us knows what goes on in another's life and none of us is in a place to judge. Thank you for the reminder. <br />Since I don't know those other people, I'm gonna ask you to forgive me for any sideways glances in case you ever one of the unfortunate recipients.Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16158883265713752481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-28427551627856455662009-12-11T21:56:03.414-05:002009-12-11T21:56:03.414-05:00This is such a good thing to post. I really appre...This is such a good thing to post. I really appreciate it. So, so true.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02225891108012809429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-79767437659204939572009-12-11T21:34:58.742-05:002009-12-11T21:34:58.742-05:00This is such a wonderful post, with an excellent p...This is such a wonderful post, with an excellent point made! To be honest, I've never questioned why someone is parked in a handicapped space. It never occurred to me to question why someone would be parked there. I hate to think that there are people who take advantage of handicapped parking spots.<br /><br />No one has the right to judge you!!Helenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10743718606624231459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-64260901876685071732009-12-11T17:50:37.565-05:002009-12-11T17:50:37.565-05:00(Came back to add that I'm following you now :...(Came back to add that I'm following you now :)Aletahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05605214202876973830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-28699939890689957202009-12-11T15:44:21.371-05:002009-12-11T15:44:21.371-05:00Thank you so much for posting this. It really made...Thank you so much for posting this. It really made me think. I found it so informative and important that I selected this post for my Favorite Post Friday award. Congrats! Stop on by my blog and pick it up when you get a chance.2Wired2Tiredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08537905575190521235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-45540687594252757622009-12-11T12:52:05.882-05:002009-12-11T12:52:05.882-05:00This post touched me, because my Mom has one of th...This post touched me, because my Mom has one of those permits. She can't drive, because she's legally blind, WITH glasses.. but my Dad drives her and has the right to park in those blue spots. Mom doesn't have sense of depth and because of certain medicines, she has the bones of a 90 year old. She has fallen in pot holes in a parking lot and broken 3 bones. She doesn't LOOK old, nor does she look handicap and she's NEVER said that she is. But those who love her and take care of her, we know what she can and can't do. Having the blue spot allows her to not walk as far and take as many risks. So true - don't judge what you don't understand or know... and be grateful that you don't need the blue spot, instead of seeing red!Aletahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05605214202876973830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-84467763136521383082009-12-11T10:55:39.946-05:002009-12-11T10:55:39.946-05:00It's so true! I was in a car accident 2 yrs ag...It's so true! I was in a car accident 2 yrs ago w/permanent back problems (+fibromyalgia) and there are days when I walk w/a cane. <br />Hubster always says, "Park in the HC space so you don't have to walk." Or, "get a riding buggy" in the stores.<br />But I don't. I'm always afraid of what others will say.<br />After your post, I have some courage now. There are days when it's just too much. It's my body. Only I know how much pain I'm in. And, as they say, you can never please everyone, so why try?<br /><br />stopping by from SITS, btw.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16035162010653647567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-54098763270678886202009-12-11T08:07:04.598-05:002009-12-11T08:07:04.598-05:00WOW. Definitely some food for thought!thanks for s...WOW. Definitely some food for thought!thanks for sharing...Christina Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01799776834213400246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-64143852129695545162009-12-11T04:05:18.773-05:002009-12-11T04:05:18.773-05:00SOOOOO true! I don't have a "handicap&qu...SOOOOO true! I don't have a "handicap" permit yet, but there are days the pain is such that I wish I did. I do use other assisted devices though. For instance, as an RA I lived on the 3rd floor and would use the elevator on days with bad pain. People would give me grief all. the. time. (And I got the comments about "you should never have had a baby" too.) Now that I know what it's like, I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. The only thing that still steams me is when people park in the "handicap" parking spots with no tag at all. Maybe they just forgot the tag, but I've seen too many people without tags come peeling into the spot, jump out of their car, and *run* inside the mall and to me that's just showing they wanted a good parking spot.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-10375188204049774642009-12-10T22:46:22.448-05:002009-12-10T22:46:22.448-05:00Terrific post. I honestly didn't know so many...Terrific post. I honestly didn't know so many people made these comments. Thank you for your perspective. I have to say, the "you don't look stupid" rejoinder is pretty great, but takes guts to say. Thanks for stopping by, by the way, and I just noticed that you have Super Grover as a follower. How cool is that? I love Super Grover.K A B L O O E Yhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12995547356428809262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-87560135732561587672009-12-10T20:53:50.212-05:002009-12-10T20:53:50.212-05:00Hi Teresa
as promised I'm leaving a comment ...Hi Teresa <br /><br />as promised I'm leaving a comment :)<br /><br />I think this resonates with all of us in the invisible camp. I am yet to get my parking permit because of just what was described in this article. I need it I know especially of late when things have been worse than normal and my legs can barely hold me up. But I just can't persuade myself to fill in that form. I used to work as a neuropsych in a hospital and it irked me no end when those who appeared "abled" would park in disabled spots. <br /><br />I know I often look fine on the outside although inside I'm barely holding it together. Combine that with the idiotic idea I can't get rid of that if I get that little tag to put in the car then I am really admitting I am disabled. I think we beat ourselves up more about these issues than anyone else ever could. <br /><br />Michelle :)<br /><br />Hope you have a very Merry Christmas.Michelle Rogerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16472120868084570461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-85294040397929624342009-12-10T16:24:48.111-05:002009-12-10T16:24:48.111-05:00thank you for posting this and making me more awar...thank you for posting this and making me more aware. <br />Thank you also for becoming a follower of my blog. I am excited to have a look around yours!<br />-christyAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13530939502081143432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-20241391778642707672009-12-10T16:12:57.729-05:002009-12-10T16:12:57.729-05:00Thanks I love it too!
I like the PJ's idea, I ...Thanks I love it too!<br />I like the PJ's idea, I know a lot of people who do that! :) Love the Happy Birthday Jeusus too, what a great way to start the day!<br /><br />Great post. And very true. I know my husband sometimes comments on people parking that he thinks shouldn't be. But like you said you never know, what is wrong just because you can't see it doesn't mean anything! Thanks for making us aware! :)Kathrynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07062774818419855236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-496094166067249042009-12-10T15:27:09.954-05:002009-12-10T15:27:09.954-05:00Wow, that's a really eye opening post. I was J...Wow, that's a really eye opening post. I was JUST on a blog that was ranting about people parking where they shouldn't be, and I agreed... and then I read this. I too have thrown my hands up in frustration at people who don't seem to have the "credentials" to get a prime parking spot. Now I will think twice before making snap judgments (although I would *never* way anything hurtful, regardless!!!).<br /><br />~Elizabeth<br />http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.comConfessions From A Work-At-Home Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17537552947779004296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-33064894919336882822009-12-10T15:23:01.268-05:002009-12-10T15:23:01.268-05:00Hi Teresa! You are the grand prize winner of my g...Hi Teresa! You are the grand prize winner of my giveaway! Hooray! I just need your shipping address and your Roc Night Cream will be on its way!<br /><br />Have a great day!<br /><br />Rosie at Vinobodega1.blogspot.comRosee Rougehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18357017253633017882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-71012510677309852302009-12-09T12:22:30.003-05:002009-12-09T12:22:30.003-05:00great post! thanks for the wake-up call.great post! thanks for the wake-up call.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08700057904506855793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-46672220162229900122009-12-09T08:18:14.714-05:002009-12-09T08:18:14.714-05:00Wonderful post! You're so right that we have ...Wonderful post! You're so right that we have to be careful not to quickly assume that someone is not ill or taking advantage of the situation. Teresa, I hope you're feeling well today! I have pretty snow to look at from my window this morning :)septembermomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01570525910483384484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2569835147435872226.post-90867068852462617362009-12-09T07:15:58.160-05:002009-12-09T07:15:58.160-05:00Thanks for sharing this great post! Merry SITSmas ...Thanks for sharing this great post! Merry SITSmas to you!I'm a full-time mummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08500868058094898354noreply@blogger.com